the Monday Musings column from that consultant bloke

I have been a member of all sorts of clubs, associations, trade unions, professional bodies and the like. I have also been a member of many teams, both professional and sporting. I have been an officer of several of these bodies, usually elected by the membership, or a sub-set of it. I general though, I do not like being a member of anything and am very much of the Groucho Marx viewpoint: I don’t want to be a member of any sort of club that would have me as a member.

It may be due to my solitary childhood where I had to make my own amusement has left me with a preference for my own company and a reluctance to share. I am a private person to a degree, but can be very sociable when I have to. I have spent almost the whole of my working life having to be sociable; barman, salesman, boss. All of these require feeling comfortable with others as a key skill. Perhaps it is because I have had to do it to earn a crust that makes me happy when I can switch off the charm.

Over my working life after I got into management one of the things that I loathed was sycophancy. I know that I held up my own advancement my nor just refusing to play that game, but by actively going against that flow. I was not a Yes Man and didn’t want that sort on my teams either; I much preferred to work with people who would challenge my thinking. The thought of joining a club of like minded people somehow fills me with dread.

Something else that I loathed in my professional career were those p[eople who put themselves before the organisation that we worked for and I have found that unions, membership organisations, charities and clubs are full of that sort of person in their committees. It is why I have never lasted very long as an officer of such organisations. I want to be there to further the interests of the membership, not to have to deal with vanities and egos.

Being part of a team in a working environment is one thing and I still have that. It’s one of the reasons why I am still working at my age and, somehow, I doubt that I will ever fully retire. I started work nearly 60 years ago just before my 11th birthday in a Saturday job and have worked consistently since. It is a drug I can’t give up it seems. But being part of a working team is one thing, to join a club, or whatever, is another. The older I get the more solitary I get and, apart from the Berkshire Belle, I do not seek the company of others.

I am still interested in other people, and am happy to talk to them when I encounter them, But I don’t seek out that sort of contact. I am aware that I don’t have too many years left now and every minute becomes more precious. I do not want to waste any of them on things that are not going to bring pleasure and that precludes being part of some group, club or whatever. There is a constant stream of suggestions as you get older about groups to join. I walk for exercise and often encounter groups of folk approximately my age. “Walk with us” they suggest, but I can’t think of anything worse. Others have enticed about U3A and how I could get into that, but, having had a look, no thanks. The Men’s Shed concept almost appealed, but not enough to make me want to join in.

I would rather play with my toys on my own; To quote another Hollywood luminary, “Include me out”.