the Monday Musings column from that consultant bloke

Che said; “You had a fall at home, an ambulance crew attended”, I interrupted the doctor, sorry, but I collapsed at home, I didn’t fall. To me, there is a big difference between a collapse and a fall. Yes, you end up on the ground in both cases, but they are not the same.

Unless you are the National Health Service, and you are over 60, in which case you have a fall. I don’t know why they are so pedantic about this, and yes, I know that I am being pedantic too, but there seems too me to be a significant bit of age discrimination going on here.

In my case I had been feeling ill, and with a thumping headache I had gone upstairs to lie down. The Berkshire Belle, who had been a nurse in her younger days, had given me strict instructions to call for help if I wanted to use the toilet, but I had got up and gone there anyway. Leaving the smallest room, I passed out and collapsed onto the landing.

I was running a temperature of around 40^c, the result of a streptococcal infection that had caused ulceration in the portal vein from my brain, which, in turn, had resulted in blood clot, although we knew none if that at the time. What we did know, or at least the BB did, for I was enjoying the carpet, thinking how comfortable if was and understanding why the cats liked to lie there. She also knew that she could not move me, and that I was too close to the top of the stairs for any attempts to get me to move myself. She dialled 999.

I was very ill and not too far from shuffling off. It took a day to find the type of infection and start to counter it, but a week to work out where it was coming from, by which time I was a lot closer to shuffling off. But, once they’d worked out the source and cleared it out, I was quickly back. I had to learn how to walk again, and there were some indignities to face, but I was home after a 4 week stay in hospital and it took another two months to recover enough to go back to work. I’d been that ill.

But I didn’t fall! I am stuck with that on my medical records now though, and it rankles. If anyone reading this knows why the medical profession decided that old people fall, please write in and explain it to me. I really would like to know.

So there, a random rant. I haven’t had one here for a while, so maybe it was about time. I’ll shut up now and let you get on with your day.