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life log #2


A lot goeth on at the moment Chez Nous and I am trying to keep up with it all, although I am seriously failing. Time seems to slip by and before I know it it is not just tomorrow, but next week. We have a lot of change in hand, or approaching, and I am in the process of trying to both plan and action those plans whilst firefighting all sorts of other shit that life throws my way. I use to get paid a lot of money to do all this stuff and was pretty good at it, but these days, at least at home, I am doing it for love and the motivation of knowing that, if I screw it up, a lot off people might loose their jobs is not there anymore.

On the good news front the Berkshire Belle and I are still healthy. Part of that I possibly due to our self-imposed isolation. We saw no-one over Christmas or New Year (besides, for me, colleagues at work). Our shopping trips tend to be early morning raids when stores ar quiet and we are still buying most of our meat, fruit and veg on-line: Our shopping trips are for basic consumables like milk and bread and often I do those solo on my way home, so the Double B regards herself as getting just the one trip out per week.

No sign yet of any of the snowdrops, but there are bulbs breaking through in the back garden, albeit that I have no idea what they might be. A couple look like hyacinths, but time will tell. Perhaps they all know that it will be a mild Winter? I did plant more snowdrops, and some bluebells, last year and I am hoping for a nice display come February. The Spring bulbs always give me a lift as a portent of better things to come.

Our lilac tree has begun to lean far too far over and I need to apply some drastic surgery before it starts to show new growth. Another of those heavy tasks that I will have to tackle. Last year I left it too late and that is why I have a bigger problem this year. It will give me something to do over Christmas.

I am well into my virtual walk from Lands End to John O’Groats and it has been interest to see where I am on the map each evening as I enter my evidence. I have so many memories from my travels around the country that each day beings something back. One night I found myself having reached the spot where one of my music heroes, Adge Cutler, died back in the seventies: I just had to dig out the I-pod and treat myself to All Over Mendip in homage. It is strange how doing this virtual walk is brining out a competitive streak in me. I am in a clump of people in around 8th through 16th place and find myself doing an extra couple of miles in the hope of getting into the top 10. Why? It’s just a virtual challenge and really all I am doing is walking a bit more than I would usually do. I will report on my finish, probably some time in February.

On the health from my blood pressure numbers have rattled the medics and I find myself back on Lisinopril. It helped me the last time that I took it and so I hope that it will this time too. I am taking things a little more seriously this time and have dug out my BP monitor to take daily readings that get logged and reported back to the doctor.

All for now. Stay safe out there wherever you are.

life log #1


Starting off a new series here having retired the lockdown logs last week. I’m not sure that life log is the best title, but it will do for now, so here we go.

I was bemoaning last time that I still had work to do on the weight loss front, but in clearing my bedroom office I came across a box of clothes buried deep at the back. One of our cats had adopted it as her latest nest, although why she liked the plastic lid of a storage crate more than one of her several beds I don’t know, but it became her favourite spot for a couple of weeks until the other day when the bathroom mat took precedence. Sans moggie I pulled out the crate and found treasure in the form of eight pairs of shoes that I haven’t seen for some years along with some shorts and a pair of chinos.

The chinos were a 42 waist and they fit! I have come down from a 46 waist via 44 and am now comfortably into another size down. Weight loss is one thing, but the loss of more inches is another and the psychological effect is well worth having. The Berkshire Belle, who voluntarily joined in on my dietary regime to show solidarity, is down three dress sizes and I am so pleased for her. It makes the sacrifices more worthwhile.

We have not been out much this last week, just a couple of supermarket runs, and, with Christmas party season upon us, we probably will not got out for another meal now until after the holiday break. I have an evening work drink gathering the weekend after next, but will not be going. A crowded ‘pub is not where I want to be right now. We have been talking about an opportunity for an evening meal towards the end of January and, for now, have decided against that on the basis that it promises to be a full house and we are not comfortable with the risk. For the same reason I have decided not to book for a concert in February. We may be wimps, but these are our lives and what we have left of them is precious.

Time does fly and it seems impossible that 2021 is almost gone. There was a lot of comment a while back that we should not count 2020, but at least I seemed to get a lot done that year. This one has just vanished and my job list does not seem to have gone down with it. The speed at which the days go by is another reason for trying to make the most of our time together. Will we make it to 40 years? Who can tell, but we both have a desire to try and make every hour count.

Stay safe wherever you are.

the lockdown log, an end and a beginning


A few logs back I mentioned that I had been having equipment problems in getting these logs uploaded. This turned out to be related to software updates where the operating system for the devices and the software versions for WordPress were out of synch. I had resurrected my old HP travelling laptop and that, running Windows 7, seemed to be fine and I have happily been writing my log each week since.

Until now that is, and this week when I had to temporarily retire that old HP pending replacing a part. Having reverted to my MacBook I find that none of the last four or five logs are out there in cyberland. I know not why, but I was feeling that a change was in the air, that the Lockdown Logs had run their course, and so this has made it easy to make that change.

I had started the lockdown logs during lockdown and we aren’t locked down any more. If we behave ourselves we can, I hope, avoid another lockdown so the weekly log seemed a little out of place, at least under that banner. The logs have developed a small following though and so I shall carry on, but under a new title; LifeLog perhaps? I have another week to make a choice.

On the subject of choices I got a call from my doctor’s surgery ten days ago to make an appointment for a diabetic review. That spurred my into the decision to stop my daily treats in an attempt to kick-start a further weight loss. I have written here before about my perception of eating habits with alcoholism. I understand that they are not the same thing, but I try to adopt a similar attitude in taking things a day at a time and being able to go to bed at night and say that this has been a day when I have not strayed.

I was able to check my test results on-line yesterday and all looks good. Of the other tests on the day things were also good; my weight was down from last time, there were no problems with my feet or circulation. The only negative was my blood pressure, but I had walked vigorously to the surgery and my pulse rate was up so I have been asked to check my BP at home twice daily and keep a diary for a week (I haven’t started yet). After the tests at the doctor’s I walked around the corner to the health centre for my diabetic eye tests. The results from the pictures of my retina should be through in a couple of weeks, but the basic, how far down the chart can you read, tests were OK.

So I am feeling a little positive. All being well I will finally be able to reduce my Metformin intake from 4 a day to 2 and that might have a beneficial impact on my digestive output. Whilst I have not had too many problems with one of the more unpleasant side effects of Metformin, I do have the occasional problem and I would be very happy to put these behind me. Another good thing from the doctor’s is that my scales and theirs agree so I am not deluding myself with the results I get at home. I am 6 kg over my best weight from about a year ago so I have no room for complacency, but the problem is that whilst I do not like being heavier than I want to be I do like eating. It is another of those choices.

As reported inn the missing blogs the Berkshire Belle and I have had our Covid boosters and our ‘flu jabs so we are as protected as we can be for the moment. We are still avoiding going out to crowded places, but have had a few lunches out recently, some to celebrate important dates and others just for fun. That has stopped as it is getting into Christmas party season and we always avoid that time of year. It will also help the wallet and purse a little; eating out is expensive as well as not being too good for the waistline.

Stay safe out there wherever you are, and thanks for sticking with me.

the lockdown log 80


It has been a bit of a week. My dental works started last Friday with extracting the broken tooth and fitting a temporary bridge. After the anaesthetic wore off things were not too comfortable and, despite cutting food into tiny pieces and avoiding anything that needed a strong bite or chew the bridge fell out on my birthday, which was not the greatest present. However, with the bridge went most of the discomfort too. I am off to the fang puller again tomorrow for a review.

We have also, after more than a year of faffing about, ordered various bits of replacement furniture for upstairs and down. This, for me, is a bit like flicking over the first of a line of dominoes. The new will not be with us until February, but I need to start clearing space in the garage and my den so as to make the project work. I am thus sorted out for Winter jobs.

My diet has been reasonable in that I have not gone mad and have worked off a lot of calories, hopefully more going out than have gone in. I haven’t weighed myself, not from any deliberate avoidance, more from having buried the scales under a pile of stuff as part of the space clearance mentioned above. I usually weigh in when I get up around 5 am and have forgotten to get the scales out the night before. I only remember when I get up and that is not the time to be trying to heave stuff around in the dark. I do feel a little thinner, but I know that that means nothing.

Something else that we have been talking about for ages is a cremation plan. Possibly the fact that we have both had recent birthdays has brought home the advancing years, but whatever, we had taken the plunge and signed up. Neither of us wants any fuss and, for me at any rate, funerals are for the survivors not the dead. My thinking is that I cease to exist when I go so what anyone else gets up to to mark my departure is their business; I won’t be there to know.

We have been out to lunch again this week, slightly spoiled by fellow diners who firstly got in our way as we walked in from the car park, the concept of giving way to pedestrians being seemingly beyond them, and then, just as our food arrived, opened a window then complained about the draught and moved, leaving the window open. I got up and shut the window, but the temperature of our food had suffered as a result of their thoughlessness.

The furniture buying trip also took us to a big shopping mall, the first that we have visited for nearly two years now. Fortunately it was quiet, but is was another step for us in going out. Whether we do more remains to be seen, but there is one more item of furniture to be bought and, as it is for me, I have been out on a solo mission to see what is available. Furniture is something that I think I need to try out and not for just buying on-line.

Stay safe wherever you are.

the lockdown log 79


Another week vanishes without me having noticed it go by. Time seems to evaporate these days, much faster than it did back when I was suited, booted and into all the high-powered corporate stuff. Perhaps it is just a sign of getting old.

I should have kept quiet about fuel shortage rumours last week. The panic that resulted was human nature and I do not have the heart to blame any of the individuals who have sweated over being able to get fuel that they need. I am less charitable about the greedy, but I am in a fair old fury about the moronic media who put the story out. If I ruled the country there would be consequences for them. It was all so unnecessary, there would have been no problem if the panic had not been kicked off.

My desire to avoid too much human contact continues and I have inflicted what must be the ninth self-performed hair cut. I am getting better at it with the amount of practice and, for the first time, the Berkshire Belle did not have to point out one or more bits that I had missed. I do wish that she would do it for me, but have given up asking.

We are still shopping and getting out and about, but no lunches or breakfasts out this week. It has been a quiet week in general; I did a supermarket she at my local Aldi on Monday and today we hit M&S and a farm shop. We have a fruit and veg box due the afternoon and all that, plus what we have in the freezer will see us through nicely.

I had my ‘flu jab last weekend and another very well organised job down at the space the local health team have rented at Swindon’s Steam museum. Our doctor’s practice if part of a combine of about thirteen local surgeries and they have teamed up to run this vaccination centre. It is still doing Covid jabs, but has now moved into the ‘flu vaccination programme. I got a text with a web link to alert me that my number was up. Clicking on the link got me into the appointment diary where I selected my date and time. I was there about 5 minutes early as the traffic was not quite as bad as I expected, but was straight in and actually got jabbed 2 minutes before my appointed time. I think that the fact that it is a private enterprise running the surgery group makes a difference as many others in the town who are registered with NHS run surgeries have had all sorts of problems getting their Covid jabs and, in some cases, have faced a round trip of over 100 miles to get them.

No real change for me on the weight front. One kg lighter, but I have little confidence in my mindset delivering a sustained improvement at the moment. If I can just keep from allowing the weight to creep up it will help.

Stay safe wherever you are.

the lockdown log 78


No change in weight despite having tried to ration myself better and having slammed in a 30+km walk. Depressing to some degree, but life’s like that. I just have to keep my head down and not let things slide.

Generally I am fed up with just about everything right now, but, again, that is life and I have been around doing enough to know that it will not change and that I just have to get on with it. Right now there do not seem to be enough hours in the day and that never helps. I need to get back on top of one or two things and all will be well. I am in one of those periods when as fast as I get something out of the way, three or four other things crop up that are unexpected, but need sorting.

One of the problems that I have got past is the one where technology was preventing me accessing these blogs. It looks as though it was just various bits of software being out of synch and causing conflicts. I try to keep everything updated, for security reasons if nothing else, but sometimes it just gets in the way. Today I have updated my laptop and that required me to re-enter passwords for about half a dozen sites (so far) most of which I do not know the passwords for. On one of the ones that I did I was then asked to respond first to an email too confirm that I was who I said I was, and then to a text message for the same purpose. Some of it drives you mad.

And then I did the equivalent OS update for my tablet and spent, on and off, the next hour getting rid on all of the whizzy bits that are supposed to make my life easier, but none of which I want. Now my home screen looks like it used to, organised how I like it except that, despite having selected the largest icon size offered, they are all about 20% smaller than they used to be. The Berkshire Belle has also done the update on her tablet and, although it is the larger version of mine, it works differently and trying to help her has led to some tensions where she is getting different results. We are still friends though…

Since the Covid outbreak I have changed my routine from sticking £10 of petrol into the car once or twice a week to filling up every 5 weeks or so. On our way back from Reading yesterday my fuel light came on as we came off the motorway. Having dropped off the shopping and had lunch I popped out and filled up, paying 131.7 per litre which is about the highest that I have paid for a long time, but better than the 138.9 that my nearest filling station are asking. At one point last year I only paid 99.8 if I recall, certainly just under the pound per litre. As I write this I am getting the news that there may be a shortage, but that is not what my industry friends tell me. Hopefully we will not get into any stupidity over the coming days. Panic buying just buggers up the supply chain.

This week we have not been out to lunch, but did go out for breakfast instead and I think that the last time we did that was in Florida back in 2019. It made a nice change and we will try and do it more often. It does seem to be helping us get more confident about going out. I have had the call to go for my ‘flu jab this Saturday and we are hopeful that we will get our Covid boosters fairly soon.

I have been trying to repossess my garage and clear out the clutter that accumulates, much of which is packaging from our mail order forays. With Winter approaching I would like to be able to have easy access to it as a workshop for some of the things that I can’t do outdoors. I am still not coming to any conclusions about what I want to do in the garden over the Winter, but maybe not having too many plans will be a blessing. Often just having a few ideas works out better as I can react to opportunities that arise.

Stay safe wherever you are.

the lockdown log 77


I failed to mention weight and diet last week, mainly because they were not on my mind. That alone should tell you about my state of mind on that topic. I have weighed myself once in the last month and I was 110 kg at the time; not too good, but not too bad either. Right now I can’t be bothered, although I know that I will need to start bothering soon. On the exercise front I am still at it and recently passed through 3000 km for the year. I may not be controlling my intake too well, but I am still burning off a lot.

Our trip out for a birthday lunch went so well that we did it again this week. A different venue, but very nice and something that could be habit forming. We used to do it every Saturday at one time, not always a pub or restaurant, but it was our weekly treat back when we both worked for Big Corporate. In these times it is nice to get out and about a bit; a touch of normality.

I have started my course of dental treatment and have a extraction to look forward to in a couple of weeks. I will get a temporary bridge at that point and then, once the gum has settled from the extraction, I will get the long term bridge fitted. Whether or not that can be done by Christmas or not I don’t know yet.

Having a couple of weeks off work I have tried not to be too busy. A break is a break and so I have done less around the house and garden than I would normally have done. If nothing else it has given me time to think a bit about what I want to do. The Summer is gone and the Autumn and Winter job list needs some attention.

The year does seem to have vanished and I am having problems believing that it is mid-September. Where did it go? Maybe it is something to do with withdrawing into myself, my Ostrich approach to shutting myself off from as much of the world as I can. Whatever, the calendar does not lie and we are where we are. I suppose that the months slip away whilst I have my head in the sand and, as it is my choice to hide, I have no cause for complaint.

Stay safe wherever you are.

the lockdown log 76


Finally I have managed to get a few words on paper (or VDU) after the worst bout of writer’s block that I can remember. It isn’t that I haven’t been able to think of things to write; there are part started blogs for all of the missing weeks and I have a host of audio files where I have thought of things whilst out walking plus some post-it notes. The problem has been getting any of this into some form of readable state. Day after day I have powered up and then stared at a blank screen with no concept of how to turn any of these jottings into sentences and paragraphs that add up to something worthwhile.

Today a corner has been turned and thoughts are flowing through my fingers and causing stuff to appear on the screen. Why I don’t know, nor do I know why I have had a problem. I am just glad that it is over. I will try and retrospectively fill in the gaps in the coming weeks, but, for now, a summary.

Since my last appearance here I have had a Covid scare and a fall, both of which rattled me a bit. The former came when there was a rumour that someone whom I had been in brief contact with was alleged to have been diagnosed as having Covid. This I was told just over a a week after I had been in their company and I still do not know whether or not the allegation is true, but although I did not contract the disease myself and that incident is past, It did give me a few days worry though.

The fall was at work where I was distracted just at the point where I got to a curb in the car park and tripped over it. The damage was mostly superficial, but I chipped a tooth which has begun to fall apart. The repairs are going to cost over £3000 and I am none too pleased about that. Fortunately I am not too bothered about dental work and so having it done will not trouble me too much, but paying for it will.

The weather has been variable enough to have kept me off most of my outside projects, although I have done a lot of garden maintenance and spent some to trying to work out what has gone well and what hasn’t from this year’s planting. I did manage to get the first coat of black paint on the final section of deck to be done that colour and am happy with the results. This deck paint, although a reputable brand, does not seem to cover as well as the stuff that I used 20 years ago and maybe there have been changes to the recipe along the way.

I have not yet built the BBQ station, but the new BBQ that we bought last year has still not been lit. It is likely that it will not be lit this year either the way things are going, but I would like to build the station for it before Winter sets in.

Much of my time in recent weeks has been spent in pursuit of a decent sourdough loaf. I am not quite sure why the Berkshire Belle has been pressing me to make these things when we have a good source of commercially baked sourdough, but she has and after she bought me yet another sourdough book in the Summer, I vowed to have another go. So far the score is 7 of which one was partially edible, two reasonable edible even if they had not risen enough, and four failures. I have, for now, given up and this week I made a good white loaf in the breadmaker just to cheer myself up. Having done that I am going to attempt a soda bread at the weekend. I haven’t had a go at one for a while and the last try was a failure, so I am none too confident. Onwards and upwards though; get back on the bike and try again.

The car tax reminder just dropped onto the doormat. It seems incredible that it is a year since I bought it, but time seems very telescoped in these strange times.

Anyway, time to get this onto the web and I will aim to be back again next week.

Stay safe wherever you are.

the lockdown log 72


My weight loss efforts just can’t get traction. I have a couple of good days and then there will be something that needs eating, or throwing, and I can’t abide waste. The other problem at the moment is bread. Both add calories.

The Berkshire Belle loves sourdough and, whilst we have good, local, source in Hobbs House, she wants me to bake it. Now I enjoy making bread. Twenty odd years ago she bought me a one day bread baking course and I have baked regularly since, albeit that I often resort to our Panasonic bread machine. Homemade bread is great, but I am trying to keep my carb intake down…

So far my first couple of sourdough loaves have not been good. They have been edible, but would not have won me any plaudits. I will keep trying and see what I can do, but I am finding it very frustrating, especially as we could just buy one.

As I know that I am not doing well enough on losing weight I have stopped weighing in. abject cowardice perhaps, but that is my decision for now. I really have too many other things to worry about right now.

Bread making has been eating into my time and so I have spent less in the garden. On the other hand I have been trying to put in about half an hour each day in de-cluttering. It is all necessary work and there is a bit of a feel good factor in doing it. There is just so much to do.

This week we have been out to celebrate thirty years of marriage. Our first lunch expedition for a while and we found ourselves the only customers. The food was good although it took a long time to arrive. We suspect that someone had to go out and buy the bread, but it was good enough when it arrived although it was one of those meals where the idea behind the dish could have been better. Still, we have been out, and the next few weeks see a run of special days; two birthdays and thirty two years together fall between now and early October so we are looking forward to a few more lunches.

I also have four weeks holiday booked in two lots of two weeks each. We will not do a lot, but hope to try and do something a bit different. A day out to the Isle of Wight is one that we will look at.

Stay safe wherever you are.

the lockdown log 71


Life here in North Wiltshire continues pretty much the same. Most people are still masking up to go shopping and there is little sign of change. Some people have gone away now that the schools have broken up, but few amongst the people that we know are venturing abroad other than some of my colleagues from Eastern Europe who have gone back home to visit family. Most of these drive and aim to make the trip in around a day and a half driving pretty much non-stop with two or more drivers taking turns.

For those of us who live here most seem to have abandoned thoughts of a trip abroad on the grounds of risk and cost. We have too and gave up on our plans for a return to the US for a second year and are now starting to wonder if we will ever go back. Given our advancing years maybe we have seen the last of long distance travel, but maybe the world will start to get a grip on Covid and things will both open up and look safer. Time will tell, but we are running out of it.

On that note we are looking to organise our cremations so that all of that sort of thing is taken care of when the time comes. It is not a subject that is easy to deal with, although I seem to be more pragmatic than the Berkshire Belle on these things. It is also crossing my mind to have another look at living wills in case either of us does loose our marbles. We talked about this when we made our joint wills and were told that we had just missed the boat for doing them in an economical fashion so we let the idea pass. Maybe we should look at it again.

I have not lost weight for another week. I am trying to stay positive about this and am reading up on how the body processes food from the perspective of type 2 diabetes to try and see if there is something there that will help me break out of this impasse. It is possible that I do have a bit of muscle build up; The last two weeks have been very physical in many ways with more heavy lifting that usual and I am noticing a change in muscle tone around my upper arms, amongst other places.

Being stuck at 106.5 kg is not so bad in many ways and is a lot better than being 123 kg as I was back at the start. Maybe I just need to change diet again as that sometimes has worked in the past. It does seem as though I am getting my head back around the need to shift weight and the old target of 100 kg is calling me again.

Into August now and out weather is weird. As I sit here after lunch typing the wind is howling around the upstairs windows and rain showers are sweeping through at irregular intervals. Just as I typed those words the sun has come out and the temperature has climbed as it should, but there are more black clouds rolling in. The poor plants don’t know what to do with themselves.

Apart from the wind and rain keeping me away from the jobs I need to do up the ladder my last go at that work on Monday has brought me back out in a rash. I had this problem last year and have not yet worked out which of the climbing plants that I am clearing I am allergic to. I think that it is one of the varieties of ivy, but what I have been clearing includes three types of that plant plus a hop, a grape vine and another one that I have forgotten the name of. Between planting by my neighbour and I these things have grown together over the years and the rapid spells of wet and warm weather over the last 6 weeks have seen rampant growth that needs cutting back. Insects and dust abound within this undergrowth and something there does not like me. Even with arms covered and wearing gauntlets something has gotten through and, if last year is anything to go by, I face a couple of weeks of discomfort before it goes away.

Stay safe wherever you are and thanks for looking in.